17 COMMANDMENTS OF THE FAIRER SEX
1.The female makes the rules.2.The rules are subject to change by the female at any time withoutprior notification.
3.No male can possibly know all the rules. Attempts to document therules are not permitted.
4.If the female suspects that the male may know some or all of therules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
5.The female is never wrong.
6.If the female is wrong, it is because of an egregariousmisunderstanding which was the direct result of something the male did,said, did not do, or did not say.
7.If rule 6 is invoked, the male must apologize immediately for havingbeen the cause of the misunderstanding without any clues from thefemale as to what he did to have caused the misunderstanding. See rule13.
8.The female may change her mind at any time for any reason or noreason at all.
9.The male is never permitted to change his mind or under circumstanceswithout the express written consent of the female which is given onlyin cases where the female wanted him to change his mind but gave noindication of that wish. See rules 6, 7, 12, and 13.
10.The female has the right to be angry or upset for any reason, realor imagined, at any time and under any circumstance which in her solejudgement she deems appropriate. The male is not to be given any signof the root cause of the female's being angry or pset. The female may,however, give false or misleading reasons to see if the male is payingattention. See rule 13.
11.The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants himto be angry or upset.
12.Under no circumstances may the female give the male any clue orindication whether or why she wants him to be angry or upset.
13.The male is expected to read the mind of the female at all times.Failure to do so will result in punishments and penalties imposed atthe sole discretion of the female.
14.The female may, at any time and for any reason, resurrect any pastincident without regard to temporal or spacial distance, and modify,enlarge, embellish, of wholly reconstruct it in order to demonstrate tothe male that he is now or has in the past been wrong, insensitive,pig-headed, dense, deceitful, and/or oafish.
15.The female may use her interpretation of any past occurrence toillustrate the ways in which the male has failed to accord her theconsideration, respect, devotion, or material possessions, he hasbestowed on other females, domestic pets or barnyard animals, sportsteams, automobiles, motorcycles, boats, aircraft, or coworkers. Suchillustrations are non-rebuttable.
16.If the female is experiencing PMS, Post-PMS, or Pre-PMS, the femaleis permitted to exhibit any manner of behaviors she wishes withoutregard to logical consistency or accepted norms of human behavior.
17.Any act, deed, word, _expression, statement, utterance, thought,opinion, or belief by the male is subject to the sole, subjectiveinterpretation of the female, other external factors not-withstanding.Alibis, excuses, explanations, defenses, reasons, extenuations, orrationalizations will not be entertained. Abject please for mercy andforgiveness are acceptable under some circumstances, especially whenaccompanied by tangible evidence of contrition.
posted by munmun @ 9:52 AM
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